Can Grieving & Healing Co-Exist? Tribute to Dollie Caruthers (1944-2020)

I haven't posted in a few weeks as my mother-in-law passed away. Prior to passing, we had a rough go of trying to get her as comfortable as possible. A memory that stands out is trying to follow the directions of the emergency hospice nurse while crushing meds with warm water to administer by syringe. While receiving instructions, it sounded easy enough but I added too much water, didn't crush meds well, and then had to administer several times instead of one (again, too much water). Epic fail. Grammy Dollie (what we called her) was alert enough at this stage to let me know that remnants of the pills were sticking to her gums. Wasn't she going through enough without me adding to her discomfort? Feeling "stuck" (are you able to relate?) My spouse moved a comfy chair into her room so I could sit with her. We tried to reposition, offer encouragement, and soothe her as best as we could. Watching a love one suffer with pain creates pain in us too. Once hospice was able to get her comfortable with pain relief, she was no longer alert. I called her pastor to pray over her while my husband contacted…

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Healing From Common Thinking Errors

PPE and Me Happy Sunday, everyone. I know it can feel like another day of the week for those of you isolated in your homes going stir crazy waiting for the pandemic to end. I haven’t gotten to experience that yet as I work full time in a military hospital and work most days. I am looking forward to teleworking Monday and Tuesday this coming week as working in a hospital can be quite triggering, (anxious is my middle name). Things that help remember that I’m wearing PPE, (Personal Protective Equipment), I’m making a difference to my patients who are struggling with serious mental health issues, I’m having social interactions with other providers who are also working, and there are less technical issues at work than at home. That is the best I can do since I’ve misplaced my rose-colored glasses. Well…. Not quite, your thinking can be irrational, illogical, and not helpful. This leads me to today’s topic of how to heal from common thinking errors. Who has the most unhelpful thinking patterns? Trauma Survivors. The result of unhealthy thinking paradigms? Depression, anxiety, anger, poor health and risky behaviors. All or Nothing This unhelpful thinking is the most common. When…

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Our Purpose in Good & Hard Times

Thank you for reading my blog again this week! I’m super proud that I have managed to post each week as that is my current goal. Thank you for being with me as my blog still needs transforming and this is still in the works! For today’s blog, I thought it would be fun to discuss an activity called list making in your journals. What you do is take prompts, (they can be about anything), you then list as many items as you can. There is no magic number but I think it’s fun to try for 7-10 items. What is also fun is art journaling around your lists or decorating your pages with stickers, washi tape, stamping, stenciling, doodling, lettering, painting, etc.  If you need a journal, consider this one: https://healthrivedream.com/product/journal-with-prompts-and-affirmations/ Prompt #1:What hard times have taught me Time does heal wounds to some degreeThis too shall passLife is not fairGod does look out for meOur purpose can be directly related to how we heal our woundsWhen you don’t know what to do, go help someoneGet a purpose bigger than your problem (borrowed from Bob Proctor: https://unstoppablefoundation.org/podcast/a-conversation-with-bob-proctor/Look for lifesavers. For children this is often a trustworthy adultWhat doesn't kill you…

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5 Ways to Be Happy During Adversity

Document Daily Gratitude Gratitude practiced daily is life changing. There is a famous book, “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, that I recommend you purchase or borrow from the library. You then take your journal and write 3-5 things/people/situations that you are thankful for each day. To make it more powerful, try not to document the same thing twice. Early on, you may list the people in your life that you are thankful for, but later, try to select something that they did or said that you are grateful for on that day. For example, one day, I listed my son Gideon. Several days later, I listed that I’m grateful for Gideon’s smile because it lights up my day. Mom calls Gideon her “sunshine.” I think it’s because he isn’t old enough yet to be snarky like the girls 😊. Try remembering that we feel better when we focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have. We have a journal in our store that you can consider using to track your daily gratitude: https://healthrivedream.com/product/journal-with-prompts-and-affirmations Strengthen Your Resiliency My favorite guru on the vast topic of resiliency is Dr. Robert Brooks. I spent a week in training a few…

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Feeling Anxious? I Can Help!

  Some of you have read my past blog post when I tried "free" Wix. It was such a pretty site but a no-go for my entrepreneur spirit that wants to make a greater impact in our community and not be limited by my website. I'm stating this because I'm recycling a blog post from then as it is super relevant right now. I was thinking this as I noticed my own anxiety started to shoot through the roof on Friday evening. I allowed myself to get sucked into the news and Facebook, not helpful people! The rest of this weekend, I have been on social media minimally but primarily getting my updates on COVID-19 through CDC and our local health department. To poke the bear a bit, my son has been coughing with a fever all weekend. My spouse took him to Kaiser and he's fine with a cold, but I did have to take a few deep breathes and had to practice what I so easily preach! How To Make Friends With Your Anxiety To Be Your Best Self! Accepting What We Can't Control 1. Accept your anxious feelings - the more you fight anxiety, the stronger it can…

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March is Awesome!

Shout Out to Some of the People I love! I love the month of March! My first born arrived on the 27th, and lots of other people I love have birthdays this month. My brother Jason, Grammy Grace, my godmother, My Aunt Di-Di, my buddy Adam, and my spouse's bestfriend Bob. I'm sure there are other birthdays of fabulous peeps I know so Happy Birthday! Lots to celebrate this month... Especially Women & Social Workers! What is also super special about March is that it is Social Work Month and today is International Women's Day!! I'm bummed that we won't have a woman president anytime soon, but will remain hopeful. When we do get a woman president, she is going to be extra awesome and be a change maker! In my opinion, our girls and teens need to see a woman in office. We must break the ultimate glass ceiling. I want my daughters to see that anything they desire to do in this world is possible and obtainable. I'm sure I'm not alone with this sentiment. We all know that women are more than capable as other countries have voted women into power. If women can wear pantyhose, girdles, bras,…

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Happy Sunday! Happy March 1st!!

Oh my, it has taken me forever and a day to get my site "up" without bugs! I am coming to terms that my site will be a work in progress since each step of building a blog is a bit more trickier than I could have ever dreamed of. I won't bore you with how many times I have found fonts I like only to learn that they slow down the site or won't upload.. yada yada. I wanted to get something published today as I'm having several peeps stop in only to find a non working or a gibberish site. So.... my awesome content will be delayed as I keep learning the tech side of blogging. Spent most of the weekend "debugging" and fixing the backend. I'm determined to have a site that will be a warm place to go to get encouragement, support, and some tools for healing. Please bare with me in the meantime! I have plans for therapeutic courses, e-books, workbooks, handouts, etc. to help you wherever you are in your healing journey whether that be from childhood or adult trauma(s), grief/loss, relationship difficulties, occupational or educational duress, etc. By the way, if you know anyone…

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